Rayne: Bella is my favorite sister.
Me: Do you remember what I told you Bella has?
Rayne: Yes. Autism. Right?
Me: Yes. Do you know what that is?
Rayne: It makes Bella brain work different than mine and yours and daddy’s.
Me: That’s right. What’s your favorite thing to do with Bella?
Rayne: Everything. We do everything together, except at school cause we’re not in the same room.
Me: Does Bella ever make you mad?
Rayne: Sometimes when she lays on me when I’m trying to sleep. Sometimes too when she cries.
Me: It makes you mad when she cries?
Rayne: Not mad, sad. I get mad when I can’t figure out what’s wrong.
Me: Mommy and Daddy will figure out what’s wrong. You don’t have to be mad or sad.
Rayne: I know what’s wrong better though. Bella can’t talk but I know what’s wrong.
Me: How do you know?
Rayne: I just do.
Me: Oh, okay….
Rayne: I know when it’s the movie that’s scared her. I know when she needs a drink or when she’s just tired but sometimes there is nothing wrong and she just feels like crying.
Me: What do you do then?
Rayne: Just let her cry. It helps her feel better.
Me: How do you know it helps her feel better?
Rayne: Cause when she’s done crying, she laughs and smiles. You told me that sometimes she gets full and it has to come out, remember?
Me: I do. (I told her that sometimes Bella’s body gets full of emotions and it has to come out so that’s why she has these meltdowns. When she gets all of it out, she feels better.) I’m glad you remember that.
Rayne: Thanks.
Me: Do you think there is something wrong with Bella?
Rayne: Bella is just Bella. (A girl) at school like to spin around like Bella does. Everyone tells her to stop but I just spin around with her. It makes her laugh. (She’s talking about a little girl in her class that has Asperger's Syndrome and her only ‘stim’ is spinning around in circles).
Me: Why do you do that?
Rayne: It makes her feel happy. Some of the other kids just laugh at her, but that’s not nice. If they spun around too (they) would have fun too.
Me: Thank you for being nice to her.
Rayne: You’re supposed to be nice to people, Mommy.
Me: What do you think about you and Bella being in your own room? (something we've been trying to do for about two years now).
Rayne: No.
Me: Why?
Rayne: I would miss Bella and Bella needs me to stay in the room with her. In case she gets lonely. No. I think I should stay in there.
Me: You know, eventually, you’re going to want your own room.
Rayne: Maybe when I’m old, like you are, you know, like, 59 or something.
Me: Rayne, I’m not 59! I’m 31.
Rayne: Okay, when I’m 31, like you. Then I’ll get my own room and I’ll a husband too, like daddy! (she giggled) and Bella will have the room next to mine.
Me: You want Bella to live with you?
Rayne: Yes. Of course.
Me: What if your husband says no?
Rayne: He wouldn't cause he would love Bella too and if he doesn't love Bella too then he’s not my husband.
Me: You’re a sweet kid you know that?
Rayne: (she blushes) Mommy!
Me: What would you say to someone who makes fun of Bella?
Rayne: Hmmm, I would tell them that my Daddy fights in a cage and that he could beat them up.
Me: Rayne, Daddy’s not going to beat up a kid!
Rayne: Fine. I would tell them that making fun of Bella means that they are the mean one cause Bella would never be mean to them so that’s not fair. If they make fun of someone who can’t talk then they are just mean.
Me: That’s true.
Rayne: Then I’ll have Daddy teach me how to beat them up.
(Having a trained MMA fighter as a husband and father to my children has caused a little bit of an issue. We know this. They've watched their father train and work out and spar. We clearly need to teach her that there is a time and a place for everything. At the same time, I do love her protectiveness and if someone were to physically provoke her or her sister, I can’t say that I wouldn't want them to know how to protect themselves.)
Me: Any last words?
Rayne: Can I please go watch “Spongebob” now?
Me: Yes you may.
The End.
I have to say that all the warnings I got from doctors about my older child being jealous or acting out did kind of make me nervous at first. I waited and waited for Rayne to act out and rebel but she never did. I waited for her to act like she was angry of the attention her sister received, but she never did that either. In fact, at just shy of five years old, I've seen Rayne display more patience and more care for her sister than most adults. It’s an amazing thing to watch as they bond and grow up together and it’s something that I hope continues as they get older. Rayne seems to have this uncanny ability to know what her sister is thinking and they have this bond that transcends verbal communication. It’s more than any mother can ask for and I consider myself extremely lucky to have such a well rounded, intelligent, sweet and caring little girl. Rayne definitely is something else.
