Now, to most people, it would be nothing more than an annoying incident, easily forgotten.
Unfortunately, this happened to Bella, about two months ago, and since that day, she has developed an intense fear of ALL bugs.
Entomophobia, or insectophobia, is defined by an irrational fear of bugs. Big, small, dangerous or totally benign, it makes no difference.
In Bella’s eyes, they are all the same and they are all just as scary. It went from a mild fear where she’d just try to get away from them, to a full on breakdown where she is literally paralyzed with fear, unable to move from where she’s standing. She covers her eyes and calls for help. It has also gone from her being afraid of bugs, to her being afraid of anything she perceives to be a bug. A dot of dirt on the ground or a small smudge on the floor; anything really, that reminds her of a bug.
At a complete and total loss on what to do, (we've been here before), I started doing some research. I found VERY little, if any real information that would help us to help her to move on from this. A lot of what I found said that these types of fears usually start from something harmless and in some cases, the child never truly gets over it.
That was not acceptable to me. See, we’re a family that loves the outdoors. We love to take the kids hiking, and on short trips through the woods. We love going to the park where there is a creek they can play in. We want our kids to get dirty, play in the mud and explore things. Now that the weather is finally warming up, we’re outside a lot, but with warm weather, comes more and more bugs.
The other day, we didn't even make it off the porch.
It’s heartbreaking; watching your child, who’s taken so many positive steps and made so much progress, seemingly regress at the drop of a hat.
This is not something that we expected or could have ever planned for, so along with her teachers and her one-on-one aide, we came up with a few things that we hope will work to help her overcome this crippling fear.
1. It’s no big deal.
When she sees a bug and reacts to it, we try not to get too wound up too. It can be hard to act nonchalantly when she’s crying and clinging to you for dear life, however. We try to say things like “Oh, it’s just a bug” or when we shoo it away, we’ll say “Bye-bye bug!”
2. Let her take control.
When we see a bug before she does, we call her over to see it. I know it might sound counterproductive, but for some reason, when she gets a heads up, it seems to help her feel more in control. “Look, Bella, a bug!” (said excitedly) seems to help calm her nerves a bit. Then, sometimes, she’ll come over and shoo it away herself. She seems very proud of herself and I think that really helps.
3. Fake bugs.
The Dollar Tree sells packages of fake bugs. At school and at home, we've taken to hiding these fake bugs, in plain sight, and then help guide her through what happens when she stumbles upon one. She’s afraid at first, but we’ll usually do either #1 or #2 and when she feels ready, she’ll either ‘squash it’ (put a tissue over it) or she’ll grab it and toss it in the “Bug can” (The bug can is an empty coffee can decorated with construction paper that says ‘bugs’ on the front. This is where she puts all the fake bugs she finds. At the end of the day, we count the bugs and she gets a reward for being so brave and for ‘catching’them.)
4. Kill it.
Sometimes, depending on what kind of bug it is, we just have to kill it. It’s literally the only way she can ‘move on’. (I find this hard to do when we're outside, since this is where the bugs live. They aren't really doing anything wrong. When we're in our house, however, it's a different story. Being allergic to bees, and having a high probability that my kids are too, I can't really risk them being stung by a bee that finds its way inside.)
So far, catching the fake bugs has been working better than anything else has. She seems to enjoy the ‘game’ of it and it puts her more at ease when she runs into real ones. Still, even after employing these tactics for a little over two weeks, most of the time she’ll still freeze up and shut down after spotting a bug somewhere.
Some of her doctors have stated that situations like these only get worse and medications are the only things that help. Since she’s only three years old, we’d really like to try other methods before putting her on any kind of medication. However, if it get worse or stays bad enough, we will consider it.
Our motto has always been “Expect the unexpected” but even I have to admit that THIS was not something I ever thought about. Sometimes, I think the more important thing is that we, as her parents, handle this well and hopefully she’ll learn to handle it better too.
Wish us luck. I think we might need it.
Advice, tips or suggestions are ALWAYS welcome!
