The wait wasn't long but I could notice Bella getting anxious. The waiting room was full of other kids, some with the same issues as her, others that didn't but were still being quite loud. Getting her blood pressure taken wasn't something I’d enjoy doing again anytime soon. The lady doing it didn't seem to have much patience, especially for someone who works with children. Bella’s blood pressure was quite high, but it was obviously because she was so worked up. Once we got into the room where the tests would commence, the toys distracted her and she calmed down.
I wish that I could write the names of the two amazing doctors that evaluated her, but I forgot to ask for their permission and for the sake of privacy, I’ll simply refer to them as Dr. M(ale) and Dr. F(emale).
Dr. F came in first. She did all the basic tests and took all our information. She asked a lot of questions. She didn't get mad or irritated when Bella kept flipping the light switch on and off, or even when she began drumming on her keyboard, which accidentally crashed her computer for about 15 minutes. I felt awful, but she assured me that it wasn't even the worst thing that’s happened to her.
Dr. M came in, towering well above Bella which seemed to make her a little nervous. He got down on the floor with her (all 6’ 3’’ of him) so she’d feel more comfortable. Together the doctors spent the next two hours evaluating every aspect of her development and assessing her skill set. There were many things that Bella didn't cooperate on, but she showed a great interest in music and numbers.
Now, even though we’d already been given a preliminary diagnosis, hearing them tell me her official one was still hard. I guess there’d always been this tiny voice in the back of my head that keeps saying “maybe she doesn't have autism, maybe it’s something else”… something that, as her mother, I’d always held on to.
They said “Your daughter has moderate autism with sensory integration dysfunction.” While I wasn't surprised by the fact that she has autism, I was a little shocked to hear the word “moderate”. I always thought that she was high functioning and I was told that while she is excellent in most areas, there are three basic areas they focus on to determine the level of autism a child has. Speech, social interaction and repetitive behavior. Bella is pretty extreme in all three.
We were given some good news though. Dr. F was surprised at how affectionate Bella was. She said that most autistic children avoid affection at all costs. To see Bella come to me during her testing to “check-in”, give me hugs and even a kiss or two, was something she said she’d never seen before. Dr. M told me that the percentage of autistic children who show affection is rated somewhere around 5% (much lower than the 30% I read about). The fact that Bella shows us the affection that she does, really does make the whole situation easier for us to deal with. I just think that it would be much harder for us if she didn't.
We were also told that because we got her into classes so early on, we gave her a great advantage. To know that we’re doing everything we can to help her right now was a great thing to hear and it made me feel a lot better.
So, even though she now has this official diagnosis, I realize that she’s still the same little girl she was before this appointment. Now, we just know how to help her a little bit better.
Now, we can begin the next part of this journey. Finding her classes, therapies and programs that are more suited to her specific needs, with teachers that are trained to work with autistic children of her degree.
As always, we’re just prepared to expect the unexpected.
