I was recently contacted by a midwife who asked me if I would be interested in using her services to have a home birth. She’d gotten my name (and the names of others) from a (former) friend who I haven’t spoken to in years. Apparently, former friend had used her to attempt a home birth a few years ago. She knew a lot about my situation and my conditions, but I’m still not sure exactly how. I guess with sharing information on sites like Facebook, it’s not that surprising that people you don’t talk to know things. A quick Google search of the midwives name didn't bring up anything official.
I politely told her that I was not interested in a home birth. I am high risk, over a half an hour away from the closest hospital and very near the end of my pregnancy. I have an incompetent cervix with a cerclage in place, I am Group B Step positive and at risk for preeclampsia.
She didn't accept my answer.
I don’t have an issue with certified nurse midwives at all. They work closely with doctors and usually work in hospitals or birthing centers that are attached to hospitals. They are medically trained and have to be certified nurses before continuing their education to become certified nurse midwives. Unfortunately, this woman, as well as the women that she works with are not certified nurse midwives. They are what you call “lay midwives” or “entry level midwives”. They are not medically trained, most not having any education past high school. It is illegal in most states for them to practice medicine, but they do anyway. They are not legally allowed to administer life saving techniques or use life saving equipment. They cannot perform surgery or any type of suturing. Due to the fact that most medical techniques and interventions are prohibited for them, they often use alternative methods or holistic treatments which aren't proven, tested or effective.
When she wrote back, I began to think that my best interest and the safety of my baby were not really high on her list of priorities. She kept saying things like “take charge of your body” and “don’t let doctors force you to have unnecessary procedures”. She claimed that pretty much all the interventions I needed were not necessary and in fact, were dangerous. She said that my incompetent cervix could be treated with a high protein diet and chiropractic care. My GBS (Group B Strep) could be “cured” using garlic gloves, placed in my vagina. She said that preeclampsia is only really dangerous if you’re in a hospital where all the other “forced procedures” stress out the mother and cause high blood pressure. She kept stressing that “my body knows what to do and doesn't need doctors forcing it to do things it’s not ready for” ,but in reality, my body, like millions of other ladies out there, doesn't always know what to do or when to do it. The wonders of modern medicine have helped us all get pregnant, stay pregnant and have healthy babies safely.
By the way, an incompetent cervix can’t be treated with diet change. Most women don’t even know they have it until they miscarry their babies in the second trimester. I was extremely lucky that my highly trained ultrasound tech and doctor noticed it on a routine ultrasound. An ultrasound (which most midwives advise against) is the best way to make sure that you don’t have this condition. GBS can not be treated by putting garlic in your vagina. A simple blood test (another thing looked down upon) can let you know if you are one of a fourth of the female population that carries this. It’s harmless for the most part to us, but for a newborn baby who contracts it during birth, it can cause a serious infection that leads to pneumonia, brain swelling or even death. What can protect your newborn is a simple IV hook up of antibiotics during labor and birth. Preeclampsia is a near fatal issue that effects a lot of pregnant women. The only way to ‘cure’ it is delivery of the baby. Waiting and ignoring the signs can lead to maternal and infant death. It has nothing to do with other procedures you might need in the hospital.
I told her all of this and what did she do? She pulled the autism card.
“I know that you already have a child at home with autism, most likely caused by the hostile, cold environment of the hospital. Being forced to endure needless procedures and being pumped full of harmful toxins is the leading cause of autism in babies. Doctors have a shot or an IV for everything it seems and women just don’t need them. All they care about is lining their pockets with more of your money. They aren't happy until you’re tied to a bed, paralyzed from the waist down while they needlessly rip your baby from your uterus. They spit in natures face and try to tell a woman that her body doesn't know what it’s doing. Having a baby at home, in the peaceful surrounds of love and caring is one of the only ways to ensure that you’re baby doesn't contract a disease like autism. It’s also been shown to lower the risk of diseases like ADHD, diabetes and childhood obesity. The choice is yours and you should trust your body to know what it’s doing. Please consider my offer. While the risks are low that something might happen to you or your baby, they are higher in a hospital. Proving to the world that you can take charge of your body and showing people that even those with complications can deliver at home is a great goal to have and will enhance your birthing experience knowing that you proved greedy doctors and savage pharma companies wrong! Imagine being able to tell others that! My number is (number removed), please call me so we can meet and talk face to face. Don’t let the fear spread by doctors cause you to make choices that will lead to another of your babies to suffer with autism.”
I wrote back, one simple sentence.
“You can’t use autism to scare a mother with an autistic child. I've heard it all at one point or another and the scare tactics used are simply untrue.”
To say that risking my safety and the safety of my son would be worth it to “prove doctors wrong” is just strange. I am not a stunt-woman I am not a martyr. I have nothing to prove to anyone and giving birth shouldn't be to make a statement. I could care less about MY birth experience. Giving birth isn't about me, it’s about making sure I do whatever I can to ensure that my son is born healthy and safely.
For anyone to encourage someone like me to have a homebirth, they must be out of their minds. Or, in this woman’s case, trying to find women dumb enough to risk their lives to prove her case, spread her word and make a statement.
I have never been pressured to have anything done in the hospital that I didn't want. I didn't have an epidural or any pain medications with Bella and besides the IV antibiotics, nothing else was done. If any of the things she claims actually caused autism, there would be way more cases of autism out there and bottom line, studies show that there is just no connection.
I know that people want to know what causes it and I know that some people will say anything to get others to do what they want. Using autism as a scare tactic, using it to frighten women into risking their lives and the lives of their babies is just pathetic.
All that does is show me that this woman has no clear case to insist on a homebirth. She has no real evidence that it’s more beneficial or that it’s safer. All she has are some unproven holistic treatments, misinformation about prenatal care and, basically, a bunch of stuff she made up.
Again, I have no issues with midwives. Well trained, educated midwives who are certified, are great. Low risk patients are fine, as long as they know that anything can happen, no matter how uneventful the pregnancy. Untrained, uneducated lay midwives who try to convince a high risk patient into having a homebirth… should be a crime. I know there are women out there who fall for the speeches. It’s easy to find them. A simple Google search will reveal the mothers out there who lost their babies because they were convinced to homebirth their babies so they wouldn't be autistic.
I stand by the statement I've made a hundred times already; I would much rather have a child with autism than no child at all. I would rather have a baby, safely in a hospital, with trained medical professionals on hand to help if there is an emergency than to risk everything and end up with nothing.
If you want to argue about autism with the mother of an autistic child, you better make sure you have all your ducks in a row. There is little that you can say that we haven’t heard already and most of the time, the “facts” you hear about are nothing more than fiction.
